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Bing Loveawake
Humour Me
How Common Are Open Relationships?
Why Online Dating isn't actually unfair
Surrendering to the man I nearly destroyed
How I became submissive

What these women ask of their men
If, on the other hand, she's also taking her man sometimes and it's a mutual respite from too much real life stress, that's a whole different thing.
Who are we worried about? The woman? Usually, it is the man who wants equity but the woman who wants to surrender. The man is the one who is (wisely) skeptical and must be convinced.
In fact, most of the women posting here find/found it difficult to convince their men to take them in hand. Small wonder: why on earth would a man want a woman to shirk her responsibilities as an equal partner? Why would he want to take charge of her and make her decisions for her? Why would he want to ‘be on top’ most of the time, much less ‘rape’ without the pleasure of being ‘raped’?

Why the H* shouldn't she carry her own weight?

The man's perspective

I, for one, felt cheated when my wife started to act on her ‘traditional’ desires to be submissive. (I didn't mind her having those desires, just that she expected me to cater to them full time.) That wasn't the deal we had when we were married. The word “obey” was never spoken in our wedding ceremony.

I married a feminist: a woman who was my equal and who carried her own weight in the relationship. We lived that way for twenty years and I was happy with it.

For me (and for a lot of men in today's world) the challenge is to put limits on women's submissiveness; to find ways of giving women the domination, leadership or whatever they crave without allowing ourselves to be enslaved by their desire to be submissive.

Sexual repression? Hardly.

These Taken in Hand women aren't sexually repressed. In fact, if they were not willing to share the responsibilities of domination and if they gave nothing else in return, they would be sexually greedy.

Yes! Wanting to be pseudo-raped without being willing to reciprocate is an exercise in sexual greed (unless it is balanced by something else).

But let's be fair: many Taken in Hand women are quite willing to take the reigns sometimes. Some of them are dominant spouses (i.e. taking their husbands in hand). Even the women who want to be continually submissive are willing to give something in return (see What Men Get Out of It).

The gifts of pseudo-rape, spanking, Taken in Hand etc.
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